so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Trust me, I’ve got a sixth sense about dicks that tells me if a guy knows how to fuck and it’s tingling. You need to prove me right!
I’m not going to bang him just to confirm your Dickth Sense
The Dickth Sense!!! I love it! It’ll be our first porno!
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