I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
