I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
Randomize
