Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
