when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
I am no longer a man. I just realized I prefer Spongebob to college football.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
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