its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Randomize
