Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I just got yelled at by a stripper for being a tease.
Randomize
