Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
