He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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