how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
i had to cut you off after you shoved a bunch of bottle caps in your mouth and pretended you had braces.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize