How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Do you remember whose house we're in?
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
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