I'm going to jail i love you
He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
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I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Accomplishment of the day: changing my tampon at 38,000 ft with turbulence. Fasten seatbelt sign was definitely on.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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