I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize