I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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