Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
Randomize
