i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
Randomize
