I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
the hot woman interviewing me is reading jokes off the back of laffy taffy.... I'm getting laid and possibly a job
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Randomize
