Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
