fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Yeah like 200 white people came and they are playing that one Biggie Smalls song everyone knows.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
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