you know whats awesome about this morning. A suprise visit from my dad at 7:30 am. There was a pair of heels on the lawn and a girl sleeping in just her underwear on the floor of my living room. He either thinks im a champion or a total fuck up. I'm thinking fuck up but im hoping champion.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
