i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
well you can't waste a boner
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
