It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
I need drugs. Hard drugs. Today. Not tomorrow. Today. Something relaxing.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
