Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Plan: drunk dancing. Reality: drunk almost getting in fights with people that could beat me into the ground.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
The air taste purple.
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