And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Randomize
