This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I spent most of the stoned conversation with my dad proving to him that the Newfoundland is an actual dog and NOT a Snuffaluffagus-esque figment of my stoned imagination, while laughing over the fact there is actually a place caller Dildo, Canada. Have YOU taken time to be a good dad today?
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
I was actually kind of excited. I mean, how many people can say they've been question by the CIA?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
