dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
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