Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
When I unzipped my pants I said "Release the Cracken"... she dug it so we're getting married soon.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
