Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I woke up on the couch screaming in pain. I don't know how ended up there or why my foot was double the size. all I know is I'm now in a cast and never drinking tequila again. worst hangover ever.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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