he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
