If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
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