If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Randomize
