These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
You are two creepy Justin Bieber quotes away from me not talking to you for the rest of the day
If I had a pelvic thrust emoticon, I would use it
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
Randomize
