Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
