people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
dude. we need more in our fridge then just beer and applesauce.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
Randomize
