he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
So two questions...why am I covered in muffins and are there pictures of this.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I have to stay away from bourbon. Despite what it keeps telling me, it is NOT my friend.
Randomize
