Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
everyone is single if you try hard enough
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Santa brought me a 1.75 of wine, and a liter of patron. I probably won't remember Christmas, so don't ask me how it was tomorrow.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
