It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
