I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
frozen peaches as icecubes. vodka Sundays just got wayyyy better
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
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