We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
