my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
So many bounce houses so little time
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
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