I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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