My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
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