everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Randomize
