I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Ooooh. That's not a mole. Uncomfortable.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Imagine the quality of nudes you could send with a selfie stick
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
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