eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
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So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
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I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
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