Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
can u get pink eye on your cock?
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
WHO TURNS DOWNA FRESHLY WAXED VAGINA IN A MAIDS COSTUME LITERALLY LAYING IN YOUR BED
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
