Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
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Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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