just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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