He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
found a ham sandwich in the elevator it tasted so hungry and it was still fresh. dont be mad at me. you know you love ham.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
