You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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