Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
And by sexy pictures I mean pictures of my penis in strange places. I rock out with my cock out.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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