I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
Is it wrong that the only reason I'd want Savannah in my wedding party is to watch her whore around and drink?
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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