My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
She's like the Oprah of therapy. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. AND YOU GET A STRAITJACKET. WITH A PADDED ROOOOM
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
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