For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
I am tired of kissing girls with mustaches.
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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