Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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