Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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