Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I'm in that weird half-dead, half fucked-simultaneously-in-every-orifice-by-a-bus-and-it-wasn't-a-good-time state.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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