i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
His body is like Jesus fingering me while I eat birthday cake
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
The ass gains better be worth it
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