mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Randomize
