At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
That moment when your mom is so drunk she makes you get out of bed to lay in her bed because she thinks it feels like sleeping on a marshmallow peep....
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
I need to start journaling my drunk thoughts. Drunk me is fucking brilliant & sober me is missing out.
Randomize
