All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
The plane down was full of newly weds and I counted 5 pairs of mile high club members. Actually, one might have been a group membership discount.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
