Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
I picked her up for our first date on a fucking horse. Of course I got a BJ.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
