I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
He dropped me off at 4 in the morning because I made fun of Pearl Jam..
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize