i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
