So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
Randomize
